"But there are so many people who are souls "in progress, who do not seek to engage in conflict. They are passionate people who lose it for a moment.
As far as my own history. I used to get caught up in flame wars on line-- in forums, listserves, email-- more often than I would have liked. Then I set a simple rule for myself. If I write a message-- email, comment, posting-- that is angry and mean or combative-- I sit on it, preferably overnight. I don't send it out right away.
One thing I learned from a researcher is that when you write down stuff that bothers you, that makes you sad, angry, miserable, just writing it down can be therapeutic. But then, if you throw it away, or delete it, that can also be a good healthy thing to do. This researcher even showed that when people did this-- wrote down stuff that made them angry-- their immune functions improved.
I'd say that 98% of the time, when I write an angry missive-- and I still do ocassionally-- I end up throwing them away. I ge

I get the stuff off my chest and then don't bother engaging in conflict."

"The greatest faculties of the soul are developed only by suffering, and this purification of ourselves restores us after a time, to happiness; for the circle closes up again, and carries us back to those days of innocence which preceded our faults.
Madame De Stael-Holstein Reflections on Suicide"

I can relate to using "second thought" as a balm of sorts in saving another the satisfaction of gettin' a rise out of a perfectly good intention. But to NOT respond in the heat of the moment doesn't truthfully portray the passion that is released to underscore one's convictions, especially when you know it is wrong or just plain stupid. Further more a biting critique seems to carry much more weight in todays chaotic world than simple forgiveness and a nod of approval by proxy. Reality bites. Competition bites. But truthfulness will always shine through the darkness of our moral hang-ups.

Well, there is always a way to be truthful and even passionate without being completely rude.

I find there are times when I think I want to speak my truth and then I go and re-read what I'm about the send in comments...even though I really really mean it, if it gets into rudeness or severe vulgarity, it's time to hit the delete button rather than the send button.

Another rule I follow is "don't feed the trolls". That saves me a lot of angry posting and commenting.

Thanks for the clip.

Deb, as usual you present a clip that we all need to think about. I used to be a knee jerker, who spoke my mind instantly upon hearing something that pissed me off. I still do that occasionally, but I try to evaluate the importance of the issue at hand, as well as whether my opinion is well formed and honest, or if I really gave this a bit of thought, would I react somewhat differently.

It is not always essentially to be heard first, but it is essentially to be heard clearly and honestly.