How to Speak British Without Making an Arse of Yourself


	How to Speak British Without Making an Arse of Yourself

ratilfar

7-10-2007 3:26 PM

1214 views

tags:

funny, the queen's english, sex, fun.

ratilfar says:

I knew a few of these, but still funny....

3 Comments |

Add a Comment

7-10-2007 3:28 PM

ratilfar

I can imagine a conversation at the front desk of a bed and breakfast in England:

CLERK: Tomorrow morning, would you like me to knock you up?

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Are you serious?

CLERK: I wouldn’t diddle you!

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Then how will you knock me up?

CLERK: Quite easily! And if I can’t do it, then I’ll get me mate to do it.

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: Oh… you’re one of those.

CLERK: One of those what? Oh, it’s me break. I’m going out to smoke a fag.

UNATTRACTIVE AMERICAN FEMALE GUEST: That’s disgusting!

...
read more»

7-10-2007 3:43 PM

ratilfar

And yes mist of these are "rubbish" but they are still funny.

7-10-2007 7:47 PM

sohil

And to them a real jerk is called a "wanker."

Ya...a jerk. Hmm wanking...jerk---, ya look's pretty accurate!

Login to Comment. Not a member yet? Sign up

View the Top Clips from July 10, 2007

Embed This Clip In Your Site...

<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/da9d8908-7681-4d31-9119-c12178e051f5/2EB0226D-2045-470A-9B93-24BFA625EC11/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm" href="http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm" style="font-size: 11px;">www.hogwild.net</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm"><FONT size="2">I was chatting up this lass. 
		(British slang for flirting with a chick.) She was telling me how 
		different her country's slang is from our American slang. For instance, 
		at work, she had to make a phone call to a man. She tells her boss, "I'm 
		sorry, but he's engaged."</FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm"><FONT size="2">This lead to some confusion. 
		"Engaged" just means that the man wasn't picking up the phone because he 
		was on the other line. His phone line is engaged.</FONT></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm"><P class="MsoNormal"><FONT size="2">Weird!</FONT></P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm"><DIV>* “To knock you up” means to wake 
		you up by knocking on the door. </DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm"><DIV>
		* To "diddle" means to cheat someone. </DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm"><DIV>
		* A "fag" is a cigarette. </DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm"><DIV>
		* When the British are surprised or shocked they exclaim, "Blow me!"</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm"><DIV>
		* "Slap and tickle" means having sex.</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm"><DIV>
		* And courage is "a lotta bottle." From drinking alcohol from a bottle.
		</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.hogwild.net/Rants/british-slang.htm"><DIV>
		* And to them a real jerk is called a "wanker."</DIV></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/2EB0226D-2045-470A-9B93-24BFA625EC11/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

Clipmarks: Home; New Clips; Top Clips; Dashboard

Popular Topics: News; Life; Science; Technology; Entertainment

Get Started: Sign Up; Install Clipping Tool; How Clipping Works; Clip-to-Blog™; ClipSearch

Tools and Resources: FAQ; ClipWeek; Top Clippers; Top Tags; Site Map

About Clipmarks: About Us; Contact; Blog; Copyright; Privacy; EULA

Search Options

Related Clips

More clips from ratilfar

Today's Top Clips