This only fuels my notion that Tom was the infertile one in the coupling and that this baby he's had with Holmes isn't actually is.

(I don't know why I care. I think it's because Cruise freaks me out and I would run for the hills if I met him.)

From the article said:

Just when I thought I was out of ways to emasculate Tom Cruise it turns out it was his fault he and Nicole couldn't conceive. I guess all the exercise and vitamins in the world still isn't enough to grow him some decent sperm. He might as well trade in his penis for a pink bike with tassels because 'little schoolgirl' is about as masculine as he's gonna get.

NOTE: Ignore the existence of Suri Cruise, because I don't think secretly adopting a half-Asian baby constitues being a man.

Well would you look at this? It seems that this sensible chap here agrees with me!

(I didn't read this part before clipping. Swear guv!)

Did you ever see that South Park episode about Tom being in the closet? It was so funny.

I did! It's hilarious! And quite possibly true!