I read these a LONG time ago and just came across them while cleaning out my desk. Yes, some of them are long but they are both hysterical and evil at the same time. Take the time to read one and you will want to read all of them. Print them out and take them on break or whatever. Just read one and I am sure you will appreciate the evil humor within.

It's quiet. Possibly too quiet - The kind of quiet you get when you shove a thick chunk of copper wire in a circuit breaker, a nail in the phase circuit breaker and a bolt in the floor circuit breaker... then drop a screwdriver down one of the ventilation holes of the mainframe's power supply.

Hmm, you seem have slowed down clipping a lot suddenly.
Have you been using the anti-dote

LOL no, just have a lot of other things on my plate at the moment.

Oh ok, carry on then