The Ultra-Condensed Classic Books


	The Ultra-Condensed Classic Books
Bluephoenix4
7-11-2007 12:52 PM
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tags:
humor, fun, jokes, literature, books
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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/b22b23d4-3b8b-437b-88b7-5a8c2d027385/3477F04B-4C94-43D8-AFBB-C6842F76998F/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/golding.flies.shtml" href="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/golding.flies.shtml" style="font-size: 11px;">rinkworks.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/golding.flies.shtml"><H1>Lord of the Flies</H1>
	<H2>By William Golding</H2></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/golding.flies.shtml"><EM>(Some BOYS crash on an ISLAND.)</EM><P>
</P><CENTER><B>Ralph</B></CENTER>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
	We need a fire.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
<EM>(They make a fire.  It goes out.)</EM><P>
</P><CENTER><B>Ralph</B></CENTER>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
	We need a fire.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
<EM>(They make a fire.  It goes out.)</EM><P>
</P><CENTER><B>Ralph</B></CENTER>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
	We need a fire.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
<CENTER><B>Jack</B></CENTER>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
	Forget the fire.  Let's kill each other.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
<CENTER><B>Other Boys</B></CENTER>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
	Yeah!
</BLOCKQUOTE>
<EM>(They do.)</EM>
<P>
</P><CENTER><B>THE END</B></CENTER></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/augustine.confessions.shtml" href="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/augustine.confessions.shtml" style="font-size: 11px;">rinkworks.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/augustine.confessions.shtml"><H1>The Confessions of St. Augustine</H1>
<H2>By St. Augustine</H2></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/augustine.confessions.shtml"><CENTER><B>St. Augustine</B></CENTER>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
	I was a bad boy.  Damn, was I a bad boy.  Not anymore, though.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
<P>
</P><CENTER><B>THE END</B></CENTER></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/shakespeare.shrew.shtml" href="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/shakespeare.shrew.shtml" style="font-size: 11px;">rinkworks.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/shakespeare.shrew.shtml"><H1>The Taming of the Shrew</H1>
	<H2>By William Shakespeare</H2></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/shakespeare.shrew.shtml"><CENTER><B>Katharina</B></CENTER>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
	Spit. Hiss.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
<CENTER><B>Petruchio</B></CENTER>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
	Shut your mouth before I hit you.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
<CENTER><B>Katharina</B></CENTER>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
	I can be civilized now that a man has bossed me around.
	I love you madly, Petruchio.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
<P>
</P><CENTER><B>THE END</B></CENTER></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/shakespeare.midsummer.shtml" href="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/shakespeare.midsummer.shtml" style="font-size: 11px;">rinkworks.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/shakespeare.midsummer.shtml"><H1>A Midsummer Night's Dream</H1>
	<H2>By William Shakespeare</H2></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/shakespeare.midsummer.shtml"><CENTER><B>Hermia, Lysander, Demetrius, and Helena</B></CENTER>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
We're all in love with each other the wrong way around.
</BLOCKQUOTE>
<EM>(Everyone goes into the woods.  They have wacky experiences, pair off
correctly, and live happily ever after.)</EM>
<P>
</P><CENTER><B>THE END</B></CENTER></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/kafka.metamorphosis.shtml" href="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/kafka.metamorphosis.shtml" style="font-size: 11px;">rinkworks.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/kafka.metamorphosis.shtml"><H1>The Metamorphosis</H1>
<H2>By Franz Kafka</H2></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/b/kafka.metamorphosis.shtml"><CENTER><B>Gregor Samsa</B></CENTER>
<BLOCKQUOTE>
	Holy crap, I'm a vermin thingie!
</BLOCKQUOTE>
<EM>(He DIES...eventually.)</EM>
<P><BR />
</P><CENTER><B>THE END</B></CENTER></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/3477F04B-4C94-43D8-AFBB-C6842F76998F/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>
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