The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses


	The 9 Most Badass Bible Verses
benad
12-2-2007 5:44 PM
232 views
tags:
humor, bible
benad says:
The text in the article is hilarious.
1 Comment |
Add a Comment
5-17-2008 10:51 AM
CrazyRedHead
I laughed until tears rolled down my face!!!
Ladies, when a man finally proposes to you, ask him one simple question: "How many dongs would you mutilate for me?" If you demand a hundred and he doesn't blink, he's a keeper. But, if he's David, who was sent after a hundred and then came back with twice that many just for the hell of it, well, you've got a love for the ages.
Login to Comment. Not a member yet? Sign up
View the Top Clips from December 2, 2007
Embed This Clip In Your Site...
<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/b5626350-54eb-40d5-a660-3deec1a583e1/4A52BB6D-D7DD-4818-98AB-634175829151/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html" href="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html" style="font-size: 11px;">www.cracked.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html"><DIV id="Title_box">
<DIV class="Title">#9.</DIV>
<DIV class="Title2">Exodus 2:11-12</DIV>
</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/E7C4260D-EB49-4CC3-A3A0-F985CF057F37" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html"><P align="center">
<IMG src="http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/wong/badass2.jpg" />
<FONT size="1">Moses, seen here, is about to murder the hell out of an unsuspecting Egyptian.</FONT>
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html"><DIV id="Title_box">
<DIV class="Title">#8.</DIV>
<DIV class="Title2">II Kings 2:23-24</DIV>
</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/DD9C42BF-2D65-487D-8FB8-06722B2D2B3A" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html"><P align="center">
<IMG src="http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/wong/badass4.jpg" />
<FONT size="1">Every year in Israel, divine-bear attacks kill over 500 children.</FONT>
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html"><DIV id="Title_box">
<DIV class="Title">#7.</DIV>
<DIV class="Title2">Ezekiel 23:19-20</DIV>
</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content7.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/71EB5ECF-5C8B-44D1-B6D9-06184885C87F" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/9A5A89FF-04FC-4AA7-B4C7-96AD891784C4" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p2.html" href="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p2.html" style="font-size: 11px;">www.cracked.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p2.html"><DIV id="Title_box">
<DIV class="Title">#6.</DIV>
<DIV class="Title2">Judges 3:16-23</DIV>
</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p2.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/84B9BFA4-B413-4A03-86EB-624978877F51" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p2.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content7.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/C210F66E-8EDA-4467-8652-4F679B2A70A4" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p2.html"><DIV id="Title_box">
<DIV class="Title">#5.</DIV>
<DIV class="Title2">Numbers 16:23, 31-33</DIV>
</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p2.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/E061E1B1-984D-4437-9392-FBD34D27790C" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p2.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/B71006E0-71EE-434E-BB31-224FC38F7D4C" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p2.html"><DIV id="Title_box">
<DIV class="Title">#4.</DIV>
<DIV class="Title2">
Deuteronomy 25:11-12</DIV>
</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p2.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/2AB20928-EE9C-4BCE-A743-9E6051B1B770" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p2.html">Perhaps, a little context helps. Just a couple of pages earlier, in Deuteronomy 23:1, we get this:</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p2.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content7.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/1F54C9E5-0CE8-4615-AC94-97436F155216" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html" href="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html" style="font-size: 11px;">www.cracked.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html"><DIV id="Title_box">
<DIV class="Title">#3.</DIV>
<DIV class="Title2">Quote from: 1 Kings 18:24,38-40</DIV>
</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/4F548518-B07E-4880-A441-BCEEC91AA9CA" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html">You can raise all the intellectual challenges you want about faith and the origins of the universe, but at the end of the day, you have to worship the god who can set you on fire. It's common sense.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html"><DIV id="Title_box">
<DIV class="Title">#2.</DIV>
<DIV class="Title2">Judges 15:15-16</DIV>
</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/8619639D-E391-4853-ACA2-EE4FEEDDD24B" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html">Samson tore apart the skull of a nearby dead donkey and grabbed one of these:</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content7.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/6564C65B-4C35-43F7-9FEC-E84BA9119A3A" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html"><P>
... Then killed a thousand men with it. A <EM>thousand</EM>.
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html"><P>
Or, perhaps "donkey's jawbone" was mistranslated from the original Hebrew word for "minigun."
</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content8.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/3F13816E-9475-49BF-9291-D834CC774D4B" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html"><DIV id="Title_box">
<DIV class="Title">#1.</DIV>
<DIV class="Title2">1 Samuel 18:25-27</DIV>
</DIV></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html"><div align="center"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.cracked.com/img/53092D1B-2D58-4EEF-BFE9-55CEB7B38BE0" alt="" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_p3.html"><P>
What did Saul (the king at the time) want with 100 foreskins?  Was he going to make a scarf?
</P></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/4A52BB6D-D7DD-4818-98AB-634175829151/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>
Clipmarks: Home; New Clips; Top Clips; Dashboard
Popular Topics: News; Life; Science; Technology; Entertainment
Get Started: Sign Up; Install Clipping Tool; How Clipping Works; Clip-to-Blog™; ClipSearch
Tools and Resources: FAQ; ClipWeek; Top Clippers; Top Tags; Site Map
About Clipmarks: About Us; Contact; Blog; Copyright; Privacy; EULA
Search Options

Related Clips

More clips from benad

Today's Top Clips
