current climate, gnomes receive no legal protection or aid. They don't even receive fishing rod subsidies anymore."

"We hope this report will highlight the plight of a much loved, and greatly under-rated garden figure."

Download the report (pdf) here

If you feel strongly about the protection of gnomes, we urge you to write to your MP asking them to support an EU directive to place all gnomes under the protection of the Pope.

Protection of the Pope? Yeah, all those Church of England types will love that.