Catholic Church to Allow Sex Toys (satire)


	Catholic Church to Allow Sex Toys (satire)

kkcapricorn

3-29-2009 1:25 PM

366 views

tags:

satire, unconfirmed-sources

kkcapricorn says:

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

5 Comments |

Add a Comment

3-29-2009 4:56 PM

ratcatcher2

We can but pope/hope!

3-29-2009 4:56 PM

ratilfar

3-29-2009 6:53 PM

debbyski

churches policy against homosexuality, masturbation, S&M and other forms of deviant behavior would remain in place

Dang.

3-29-2009 7:03 PM

tanyamm

I guess there's something good about being a protestant.

3-29-2009 7:18 PM

dulios

I guess there's something good about being a protestant.

That calls to mind a classic bit of comedy!

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/1ba2e1df-6997-4300-aa92-29927558b96e/6F4DE4E9-D1DE-478D-B547-D170FEB70FFD/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/index.php?itemid=4009" href="http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/index.php?itemid=4009" style="font-size: 11px;">www.unconfirmedsources.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/index.php?itemid=4009"><div align="center"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.unconfirmedsources.com/img/D268CC4A-4904-4AD9-AD8C-65641BB124B4" alt="Pope Benedict will allow certain sex toys for married couples" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/index.php?itemid=4009">(VaticanCity, Vatican) In an effort to modernize the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict XVI stated today that he is lifting many of the the restriction against most non-violent marital aids and sex toys including vibrators, dildos and sensual oils.  However, the restriction against condoms remains in place.
</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/index.php?itemid=4009">use of marital aids would be strictly for married couples to employ as aids in achieving erections and vaginal lubrication and should only be used for the purpose of producing offspring.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/index.php?itemid=4009">the final orgasm must involve the penis entering the vagina and "seed should not be spilled </blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/index.php?itemid=4009">The Pope claims his divine inspiration to allow sex toys was revealed to him by God after extensive Biblical research</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/index.php?itemid=4009"> churches policy against homosexuality, masturbation, S&M and other forms of deviant behavior would remain in place</blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/6F4DE4E9-D1DE-478D-B547-D170FEB70FFD/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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