Courtroom Quotations: Stupid Things Lawyers Say!


	Courtroom Quotations: Stupid Things Lawyers Say!

Hunnybun

6-26-2007 7:55 AM

1370 views

tags:

lawyers, stupid, funny

Hunnybun says:

Oh dear....and they're practising law....not good. Check out the whole page!

3 Comments |

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6-26-2007 1:18 PM

jussyRider

LOL!

6-26-2007 4:34 PM

skwirlinator

* Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
* Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."

6-26-2007 4:51 PM

ratilfar

Good one. Yes, this happens way to often. Trials are long, laborious and rather boring. There is not dramatic music to keep you awake like in L&O. Besides, passing the Bar does not make you a good lawyer, its simply means that your a master at cramming.

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/5b9dfe98-c456-4fb3-9e37-297287c9baf9/8F041AED-8AC2-4C7F-AE52-19F6D485D171/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml" href="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml" style="font-size: 11px;">rinkworks.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml"><UL>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Lawyer</B>: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
	check for a pulse?"
</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Witness</B>: "No."
</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Lawyer</B>: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Witness</B>: "No."
</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Lawyer</B>: "Did you check for breathing?"
</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Witness</B>: "No."
</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Lawyer</B>: "So, then it is possible that the patient was
	alive when you began the autopsy?"
</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Witness</B>: "No."
</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Lawyer</B>: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Witness</B>: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Lawyer</B>: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Witness</B>: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
	practicing law somewhere."
</LI></UL></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml"><UL>
<li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Lawyer</B>:  "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted
	to and were able, for the time being excluding all the
	restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have
	brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
</LI><li style="margin-left:16px;padding-left: 0px;"> <B>Other Lawyer</B>:  "Objection.  That question should be taken out
	and shot."
</LI></UL></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://rinkworks.com/said/courtroom.shtml"><H1>Courtroom Quotations</H1></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/8F041AED-8AC2-4C7F-AE52-19F6D485D171/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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