The defiant ones | Clipmarks


	The defiant ones

Tri-City Psychology

10-17-2009 11:03 AM

638 views

tags:

parenting, discipline

Tri-City Psychology says:

Parenting seen through bedtime stories

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/1d813860-a767-47fe-89e9-50302bf2b4a8/9F113AB0-C2B7-4C8B-80C3-A4B1D1065358/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2009/10/19/091019crat_atlarge_zalewski?currentPage=all" href="http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2009/10/19/091019crat_atlarge_zalewski?currentPage=all" style="font-size: 11px;">www.newyorker.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2009/10/19/091019crat_atlarge_zalewski?currentPage=all"><div align="center"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/blog_cache/www.newyorker.com/img/EC94C17D-C91B-450C-87B1-546F82F9AD97" alt="An illustration by Timothy Basil Ering, from “Finn Throws a Fit!”" /></div></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2009/10/19/091019crat_atlarge_zalewski?currentPage=all">Anxious parents—the midnight Googlers who repeatedly seek advice from experts—learn that there are many things they must never do to their willful young child: spank, scold, bestow frequent praise, criticize, plead, withhold affection, take away toys, “model” angry emotions, intimidate, bargain, nag. Increasingly, nearly all forms of discipline appear morally suspect.</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2009/10/19/091019crat_atlarge_zalewski?currentPage=all">So what should you do when a child throws a tantrum? Many parents, determined not to be cruel or counterproductive, latch on to pre-approved language from books. Walk through a Manhattan playground and you’ll hear parents responding to their dirt-throwing, swing-stealing offspring with a studied flatness. A toddler whirling into a rage is quietly instructed, “Use your words.” A preschooler who clocks his classmate is offered the vaguely Zen incantation “Hands are not for hitting.”</blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/atlarge/2009/10/19/091019crat_atlarge_zalewski?currentPage=all">(The preferred vocal inflection is that of a customer-service representative informing an irate caller that the warranty has, indeed, expired.)</blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/9F113AB0-C2B7-4C8B-80C3-A4B1D1065358/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content7.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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