"I once prayed to god for a bike, but quickly found out he didnt work that way...so I stole a bike and prayed for his forgiveness" hahahaha, i love it.

don't get the first quote..what does it mean?

It's only guarded 3 days a week, so at first you think you could get in, but then you realize that you don't know which days are safe, so it'd be a bit like playing the "Roulette Russe" (I don't know how to say it in English, sorry)...

It's not my favourite one though

russian roulette, only that usually has a 1-in-6 chance (6-shooter pistol) here you have 43% chance of getting shot!

Very true... But I guess there's no way to get a 43% chance to die with russian roulette... 2 bullets in the barrel would make it 33% and 3 bullets would be 50%... So I guess you'd have to use one of those special Hollywood guns that can shoot as many times as you want without reloading

This one is funny but also very true :

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.