Fundamentalist Horoscopes


	Fundamentalist Horoscopes

laceym

7-13-2007 7:35 PM

664 views

tags:

humor, religion, woo

4 Comments |

Add a Comment

7-13-2007 9:21 PM

sohil

Gemini (May 22 - June 21) You and your friends will be outraged when the judge dismisses your defense that, in accordance with Exodus 35:2, it was your pious obligation to murder that Chinese family for operating their donut shop on a Sunday - Tonight: Resist any and all biological urges. Yes, even those...

Aw Man!

7-14-2007 12:01 PM

thisnamecantbetaken

*LOL*

7-14-2007 12:15 PM

gingembre

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) Even though it was your retarded brother who impregnated her against her will at gunpoint, you'll be doubly pleased that your daughter is carrying twins - Tonight: Celebrate your goodly work with a glass of milk and a nice long stare at the wall

This would have been mine, were I a fundie.

7-16-2007 1:30 PM

Jorjor

If you really were a fundie, you would reject these horoscopes because knowledge of the future is reserved to god...

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/10d5957e-9872-43ae-b0dc-981f3886d4f6/BD19ED96-A11B-4A24-B717-040ADEDA398B/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://aintchristian.blogspot.com/2007/07/fundamentalist-horoscopes.html" href="http://aintchristian.blogspot.com/2007/07/fundamentalist-horoscopes.html" style="font-size: 11px;">aintchristian.blogspot.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://aintchristian.blogspot.com/2007/07/fundamentalist-horoscopes.html"><P><B><SPAN><IMG width="68" height="63" align="left" src="http://www.newsmutiny.com/pics/horoscopes/TAURUS.jpg" />Taurus </SPAN></B><I>(April 21 - May 21)</I> After a natural disaster hits a part of the country with a high gay population you will become too preoccupied writing a violent screed to your local paper arguing your theory that God hates homosexuals to notice the huge tornado bearing down on your trailer park - Tonight: Pray like there's no tomorrow</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://aintchristian.blogspot.com/2007/07/fundamentalist-horoscopes.html"><P><B><SPAN><IMG width="68" height="63" align="left" src="http://www.newsmutiny.com/pics/horoscopes/GEMINI.jpg" />Gemini </SPAN></B><I>(May 22 - June 21)</I> You and your friends will be outraged when the judge dismisses your defense that, in accordance with Exodus 35:2, it was your pious obligation to murder that Chinese family for operating their donut shop on a Sunday - Tonight: Resist any and all biological urges. Yes, even <I>those</I>...</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://aintchristian.blogspot.com/2007/07/fundamentalist-horoscopes.html"><P><B><SPAN><IMG width="68" height="63" align="left" src="http://www.newsmutiny.com/pics/horoscopes/CANCER.jpg" />Cancer </SPAN></B><I>(June 22 - July 22)</I> - You'll have a hard time deciding between the possibilities that either evolution is real or God hates you after a common Staph infection fails to respond to antibiotics and devours your entire leg - Tonight: Your suspicions that your child's pet hamster is possessed by the devil are valid - you know what you need to do</P></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/BD19ED96-A11B-4A24-B717-040ADEDA398B/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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