 ratilfar says: Many of these former spouses -- from those who still feel raw resentment toward their exes to those who have reached a mutual understanding -- see the legalization of same-sex marriage as a step toward protecting not only homosexuals but also heterosexuals. If homosexuality was more accepted, they say, they might have been spared doomed marriages followed by years of self-doubt. "It's like you hit a brick wall when they come out," Brooks said. "You think everything is fine and then, boom!" Carolyn Sega Lowengart calls it "retroactive humiliation." It's that embarrassment that washes over her when she looks back at photographs or is struck by a memory and wonders what, if anything, from that time was real. Did he ever love her? Did he love her? Of course he did. He had absolutely no idea that he could ever love someone more or that love could be any stronger. Our diffinition of love is limited to our experience of it. We know, however, that many Gays go running back into the closet or stay in an unfulfilled marriage out of fear. My experience has been that few gays who are absolutely sure of their sexuality go into a marriage and start a family. I've known several Gay people who have gotten married, had children and have had no idea they were Gay. Most importantly, for myself, I have learned not to judge how individuals handle their own situations. We are all different and all of our relationships are unique. I'd l... It'll take much more than changing the law to alter perceptions about homosexuality. Socially, we'll just have to see it as normal," she said. "That's the only way.I believe there are some for whom the pull toward same-gender attraction is so clear and so unavoidable throughout their lives that they knew they must pursue those relaitonships regardless of the societal pressures against them. Others may have clues early on, but societal pressure to be normal-whatever that means-takes a more gradual process. The problem is here that the stigma against homosexuality in our society and the pressure to conform to a set of standards is hurting all of society. Obvi... I've seen you attacked on this social site many times and your heterosexuality brought into question because you, as a straight man, spoke out for civil rights of gays.Really? I hadn't notice. Then again childish taunts like that only show the ignorance and stupidity of those making them and not any weakness, real or imagine, of the target. And it is about civil rights, for all people, everywhere. If one us is not free, then none of can claim to be. To build the foundation of my freedom on the back of others only guarantee the collapse of said freedoms. If one us is not free, then none of can claim to beAmen brother. None of us , I mean. So some may go through a lengthy, painful process of perhaps avoidance, self-deception, and "playing it straight" before they finally accept homosexual attraction as part of their identity.And that's putting it mildly compared to just how deep the denial can go. Some people go to extremes to run from their sexuality. We often find them behind the pulpit preaching against homosexuality. And then there's the one's who accept their sexuality enough to be in relationships or one night stands but they hate what they consider their own weakness and verbally abuse other Gay people. Often, it's these people who do the most harm to the Gay community. they hate what they consider their own weakness and verbally abuse other Gay people.I feel that is a general reflection of societies failure to acknowledge same gender attractions. The shame of it is the stigma and the sex role rigidity they would still perpetuate, and that will most likely continute until we begin to address the implicit and explicit heterosexual priviledges our soicety has. I think so too. |
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