Dave Barry's 14 Things It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn


	Dave Barry's 14 Things It Took Me Over 50 Years To Learn

missangelyss

6-27-2007 3:24 PM

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humor, wisdom

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/9d83d6f8-05a5-45b3-adb6-7b44834f9d11/C0CBA725-6076-41A5-86F0-17CAB27A2C6D/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2007/02/11/14-things-that-it-took-me-over-50-years-to-learn/" href="http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2007/02/11/14-things-that-it-took-me-over-50-years-to-learn/" style="font-size: 11px;">blogs.jobdig.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2007/02/11/14-things-that-it-took-me-over-50-years-to-learn/"><P>1.  Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same  night.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2007/02/11/14-things-that-it-took-me-over-50-years-to-learn/"><P>2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human  race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word  would be “meetings.”</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2007/02/11/14-things-that-it-took-me-over-50-years-to-learn/"><P>4. People who want to share their religious views  with you almost never want you to share yours with them.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2007/02/11/14-things-that-it-took-me-over-50-years-to-learn/"><P>6. Nobody cares if you can’t  dance well. Just get up and dance.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2007/02/11/14-things-that-it-took-me-over-50-years-to-learn/"><P>7. Never lick a steak  knife.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2007/02/11/14-things-that-it-took-me-over-50-years-to-learn/"><P>8. The most destructive force in the universe is  gossip.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2007/02/11/14-things-that-it-took-me-over-50-years-to-learn/"><P>9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and  compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2007/02/11/14-things-that-it-took-me-over-50-years-to-learn/"><P>11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other  people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age  eleven.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2007/02/11/14-things-that-it-took-me-over-50-years-to-learn/"><P>13. A person  who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very  important. Pay attention. It never fails.)</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://blogs.jobdig.com/wwds/2007/02/11/14-things-that-it-took-me-over-50-years-to-learn/"><P>14. Your friends love you  anyway.</P></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/C0CBA725-6076-41A5-86F0-17CAB27A2C6D/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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