8. If we forgive, we are being disloyal to those the offending party hurt.

9. We forgive only on the basis of certain conditions such as getting an apology.
Forgiveness is unconditional or it is not forgiveness. If we make out forgiveness conditional on what the other party does, such as apologizing or promising new behavior, we have made the perpetrator the decision maker in our process of forgiving. Ironically, this kind of thinking turns our lives over to the very person who has hurt us.

10. Forgiveness isn’t valid unless it is accepted by the other party.
This myth is reinforced by the common phrase, “to offer our forgiveness,” as if it has to be accepted to be valid. Forgiveness is not offered, it is granted. It is our gift to ourselves.

Divine forgiveness..

An old proverb:

To err, is human.
To forgive... is not my policy.

Forgiveness is difficult like love and trust.

"You can forgive but never forget"

So, let me see if I've got this right.

I will not forget, excuse, or reconcile with the offending party. It doesn't matter whether they don't want, deserve, or accept my forgiveness and I'm NOT being disloyal to those hurt. Plus, I still hold the offender accountable.

Now, maybe I'm missing something, but what exactly is "forgiveness?" It seems not to have changed anything, except maybe for me telling myself "don't worry, be happy."

what is forgiveness without forgetting?

I like this. I went to the link and read the excerpt of the 1st chapter. I definitely want to read this book! This is an area of my life I struggle with.

Thanks, Aribeth!

So, let me see if I've got this right.

I will not forget, excuse, or reconcile with the offending party. It doesn't matter whether they don't want, deserve, or accept my forgiveness and I'm NOT being disloyal to those hurt. Plus, I still hold the offender accountable.

Now, maybe I'm missing something, but what exactly is "forgiveness?" It seems not to have changed anything, except maybe for me telling myself "don't worry, be happy."

---

I just thought that needed to be repeated...