 dakotayii says: With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket... and, (hopefully you're ready for this!!!) ...... ...... ....... ..... ...... ..... ..... ...... ...... ...... The coffin stops A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married... A middle aged man and woman fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite and the bride says to her new groom, "Please be gentle... I am still a virgin." The startled groom says "How can that be? You've been married twice... "The bride responds... "Well you see it was this way: My first husband, he was a psychiatrist, and all he ever wanted to do was talk about sex. Catching her breath,she says "My second husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was... ... ... ... . Oh God, I miss him!"  The first one sucks, really sucks. Second, still not you best. Ok, it does a lot for stamp collectors, but aren't they interested only in rear things. Now I'm not fussy about what I'm licking - providing it's juicy and it ain't no flick of my thick tongue either. Ha ha.  @righthand, things has not been going as smoothly as I like as a result the jokes sucks too. But it is only Monday Now I'm not fussy about what I'm licking - providing it's juicy and it ain't no flick of my thick tongue either.now you just gave me an idea. Cheers A man thought that his wife is cheating on him. Since he didn't have a lot of money to hire an expensive private investigator, he decided to go with a much cheaper one -- a Chinese man named Mr. Lee. The following day he received following report: Most honorable sir: You leave house. I watch house. he come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I not see. No fee, Chen Lee Well it's still Monday. Did he get tree burn on the way down? @righthand - The last time if I recall correctly he was stumbling down the side walk all bloody, mucus running down his nose and his glasses slanting sideways towards a fluff and fold ( that is his day job). Here is another one for you my friend..what a monday.. Two elderly friends, Larry and Ken, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Larry didn't show up. Ken didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Larry hadn't shown up for a week or so, Ken really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Ken didn't know where Larry lived, so he was unable to ... "The judge gave me 30 days for perjury." A good joke got better. Very good, even without the wise judge. |
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