an old unicorn and a signed photograph of Mia Farrow from Polanski's 1968 film Rosemary's Baby.

A frogskin diary, hidden inside an almanac of equinoxes and solstices reveals that Michelle Obama, the glamorous 5ft 11in Harvard-educated power behind the presidential throne - has been practising witchcraft for at least 5 years. Inside the front cover of the diary was discovered a photograph of Barack wearing a 'Horny President' T-shirt, taken years before he was even involved in mainstream politics.

Also discovered by federal agents were recent scorch marks on the floor of the oval office and evidence of sacrificial rituals on the White House lawn.

"I always said that Obama won the Presidency by unfair means", screamed wannabe boss Sarah Palin.

"That Michelle bitch cast a spell on the whole planet and everyone's gone and fallen into her clever little cauldron", growled the aggrieved Republican glamour-girl. "I say they should confiscate all that witch's equipment and have a ne

I KNEW there was yet another reason I liked him.

LOL