Funny Epitaphs | Clipmarks


	Funny Epitaphs

thisnamecantbetaken

11-16-2007 7:23 AM

3975 views

tags:

funny, humour, death, epitaphs, revenge, romance, alanocu

thisnamecantbetaken says:

I clipped this for you alanocu to go with your *romantic* cemetary lady sculpture. *LOL*

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

On an Auctioneer:

Jedediah Goodwin
Auctioneer
Born 1828

Going!
Going!!
Gone!!!

1876

13 Comments |

Add a Comment

11-16-2007 7:31 AM

vk2yoc

Here lies Lester more,
Shot six times with a forty four,
No les no more.

11-16-2007 7:35 AM

thisnamecantbetaken

Sacred To The Remains of

Jonathan Thompson

A Pious Christian and

Affectionate Husband.

His disconsolate widow

Continues to carry on

His grocery business

At the old stand on

Main Street:

Cheapest and best prices in town.

Harwichport

11-16-2007 7:38 AM

thisnamecantbetaken

Here Lies Jane Smith

Wife of Thomas Smith

Marble Cutter:

This Monument Erected

By Her Husband

As A Tribute

To Her Memory.

Monuments of this style

are 250 Dollars.

Annapolis

11-16-2007 8:03 AM

thisnamecantbetaken

Here lies Pa.

Pa liked wimin.

Ma caught Pa in with two swimmin.

Here lies Pa.

Doesn't the cemetary lady's hair look a bit wet too?

This one I have to put in too. Too funny:

Here lies the body of poor Aunt Charlotte.

Born a virgin, died a harlot.

For 16 years she kept her virginity

A damn'd long time for this vicinity.

Death Valley, California

11-16-2007 8:53 AM

raven714

Y'all are too funny!

11-16-2007 9:26 AM

sahara

Cute!

11-17-2007 1:16 PM

Marinho

Ha ha... You"re funny. all of you.

11-17-2007 11:18 PM

BartendingBear

There's an image here to go along with this one:

Robert Clay Allison
1840 - 1887
HE NEVER KILLED A MAN
THAT DID NOT NEED KILLIING

11-19-2007 6:51 AM

LunaRosa

LOL! I want one for me, too!
Alanocu, you made a monster!

2-23-2009 8:07 PM

AwsomeAustin

Here lies Charlie Mapper
who was a great rapper
unfortunately
he died on the crapper

2-23-2009 8:15 PM

AwsomeAustin

On a grave digger:

Hooray my brave boys
Lets rejoice at his fall.
For if he had lived
He would have buried us all.

i found this one on this website: http://www.webpanda.com/ponder/epitaphs.htm

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/552f955e-e529-428b-94a2-90f1541a112d/F1BD47DF-454E-4BF7-AF45-199F2E86EB7A/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm" href="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm" style="font-size: 11px;">www.usroots.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="left">On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in
      East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
                            </P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="center">Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="left">
      In a London, England cemetery:</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="center">Ann Mann
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="left">
      In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="center">Anna Wallace
The children of Israel wanted bread
And the Lord sent them manna,
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="left">
      Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="center">Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="left">
      In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="center">Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="left">
      A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="center">Sacred to the memory of
my husband John Barnes
who died January 3, 1803
His comely young widow, aged 23, has
many qualifications of a good wife, and
yearns to be comforted.
<I>(ed: guess they did not have personal ads then)</I></P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="left">
      A lawyer's epitaph in England:</P></blockquote><div style="height: 2px; font-size: 2px; background: #dcdcdc; border-bottom: solid 1px #f5f5f5; margin: 2px 4px;"></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://www.usroots.com/~jautrey/genealogy/genpoems/epitaphs.htm"><P align="center">Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.</P></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/F1BD47DF-454E-4BF7-AF45-199F2E86EB7A/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content6.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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