 TheCatWhisperer says: I don't know how many times I've told people to keep an eye on what their kid is doing on the net. The issue is that: a: You want to protect your child b: you want to trust your child - monitoring makes kids feel like you don't trust them... Anyone have any idea how to both keep your kid safe and give them leeway to feel trusted and not under one's thumb? My girlfriend and I are about to have our first child. And I know I've got a few years at least before I really have to worry about this, but I've had friends/co-workers who have kids ask me what they can do to protect them. I usually recommend a good hardware firewall setup to filter the more obvious of the internet's traps. I also recommend that they talk openly with their kids, if your children feel they can talk to you and that these things are not taboo, then I think they are less likely to get in these situations and more likely to report if someone has tried to lure them. IMO: Knowledge == Safety (Continued  Also.. IMO young kids should under no circumstances have a webcam in their room or in any place that can be "private". Keep it in the family room if you want one, or in some other public place. If you have the ability to easily put it away, do so. Some software has the ability to lock off video capture devices, try that. (you can also use firewalls to block the ports used my MSN's Video chat capability). If your older kids have access to a webcam, talk to them about appropriate use, don't scold them, simply let them know there are creepy people out there.. the last thing they want is to end up on the net for every creep out there to see. Some people may ask "why not just ... good advice,thanks. Cyberspace is a scary place for parents. Trust Winnipeg to be 10 years behind the times.Myspace,facebook,Hi5 or any other social networking site should be hi alert for pedophiles. Computers should always be in the living room or family room and parents should know all of the contacts their children have.Parents need to take the time and do their jobs not just online but 24/7. Ok swampfoxz, that may work with younger kids, but at some point you have to start trusting your kids to do what is right, and that means more talking with them and less controlling them. Sure, do what you can to put tools in place to protect them, but if they feel that you don't trust them & that they can't talk to you, then you've lost. You CANT monitor what they do 24/7, in today's age of computers everywhere, cell phones with cameras, video cams, web browsing, etc all built into them, they are at risk everywhere.. so, IMO the best bet is to simply be open with them & honest. Banning them from having a personal PC in their room (when they are older..) does not breed tru... I totally agree with TheCatWhisperer, Through growing up i found that honesty and truth was the best way i have learnt, anytime i was controlled it just gave me the biggest urges to do what people didnt want me to do, not only that i didnt have the proper knowledge of what i was doing. Honesty, truth, guidence, love, care, and knowledge is what children need in growing up. With a little hardware firewall to back it all up Tabooing is never good for children or society Sorry to disagree people.Children need parents,not friends.I don't want my children ever to think of me as anything other than God,the protector. Of course my son is grown and my foster kids have moved on.Not one fell victim to anything.Parents these days think family is a democracy when it should be a dictatorship. Children need parents,not friends.I don't want my children ever to think of me as anything other than God,the protector.I think yo are mistaking open communication, education with democratic family rule. THat's not at all waht I am getting at. Parents SHOULD rule the household, but that doesn't mean they should keep their kids as ignorant charges. I'm saying if you educatie your kids about the dangers, etc, and you make them feel safe enough and compfortable enough that they can tell you when they are int rouble or when bad things are happening, then that's a lot better than them being scared to tell you some creepy dude is trying to seduce them... If your kids were sa... sorry for the spelling mistakes.. in a rush... My father ran our household as a dictatorship. As a result I didn't have and still have no relationship with my father.My brother took off at 16, and basically so did I. IMO Yes, parents should have the final say when it comes to the big stuff, but including your children in the decision process helps them learn how to make good decisions . It also keeps them from feeling repressed which leads to wild behavior once they leave the house. well said ljsdesign. I worry about my nieces. The family has one PC, which is in the kitchen, but their parents are not computer or internet-savvy. I also see the kids log on from their friends' houses. I have both of them on IM, so I see what they're up to even more than their folks do. They also both have MySpace pages, even though one of them only just turned 13. I've had to tell both of them to take their phone number off their public profiles. I've tried to talk to their parents about my concerns, but they just don't really grasp the whole internet concept. It's a good thing they've got you Monkfishy. |
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