Fairness and Reciprocity in Friendships


	Fairness and Reciprocity in Friendships

dmegivern

6-18-2008 11:12 AM

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tags:

friendship

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6-18-2008 11:43 AM

abailart

There are different levels of friendship, but I think the strongest are unconditional.

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<div style="margin: 12px 0px; font-family: arial; color: #333333; background: #ffffff; border: solid 4px #e5e5e5; width: 100%; clear: left;"><div class="CM_CTB_Content_Wrap" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;background-color: #ffffff;"><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content.clipmarks.com/blog_embed/1a56b7d5-fffc-415e-91c1-15eca404f5ef/F8D9E201-9C36-4B5A-A25B-E956094EC8F3/" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/fairness-and-reciprocity-in-friendships/" href="http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/fairness-and-reciprocity-in-friendships/" style="font-size: 11px;">psychcentral.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/fairness-and-reciprocity-in-friendships/"><H1 id="post-1382"><A title="Permanent Link: Fairness and Reciprocity in Friendships" rel="bookmark" href="http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/fairness-and-reciprocity-in-friendships/">Fairness and Reciprocity in Friendships</A></H1></blockquote><div style="border-bottom: solid 1px #dcdcdc; white-space: nowrap; margin-bottom: 8px; background-color: #eeeeee ;background-image: url(http://www.clipmarks.com/images/source-bg.gif); background-repeat: repeat-x; height: 24px; line-height: 24px; vertical-align: middle; padding-bottom: 4px; color: #666666; font-size: 10px;" ><a href="http://clipmarks.com/clip-to-blog/" title="see clips that are hot right now"><img src="http://content7.clipmarks.com/images/clip-icon.gif" alt="" width="19" height="19" border="0" style="vertical-align: middle; margin: 0px 4px; display: inline; border: none; float:none;" /></a>clipped from <a title="http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/fairness-and-reciprocity-in-friendships/" href="http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/fairness-and-reciprocity-in-friendships/" style="font-size: 11px;">psychcentral.com</a></div><blockquote style="text-align: left; padding: 0px 8px; margin: 4px 0px 8px 0px; background: transparent; border: none;" cite="http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/fairness-and-reciprocity-in-friendships/"><P>Fast-forward about 50 years and, at least for some of us, insisting on this kind of tit-for-tat fairness can be a huge mistake. Friends, current and potential, live lives that are often out of step with our own. Dual career marriages, babies born or adopted when their moms are anywhere from 16 to 50, and different levels of flexibility in the workday or career path make it challenging for people who like each other to maintain a friendship unless we redefine what it means to be “fair.”  The problem for many of us is that we were raised with our mother’s and grandmother’s’ ideas about the need for immediate reciprocity. It takes some effort to break ourselves of the habit. It takes a commitment to be tolerant, flexible, and creative to get beyond the notion that to be fair means to do the same kinds of things at the same rate.</P></blockquote></div><div style="margin: 0px 6px 6px 4px;"><table style="font-size: 11px;border-spacing: 0px;padding: 0px;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr><td style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;">&nbsp;</td><td align="right" style="background:transparent;border-width:0px;padding:0px;width:107px" width="107"><a href="http://clipmarks.com/share/F8D9E201-9C36-4B5A-A25B-E956094EC8F3/blog/" title="blog or email this clip"><img src="http://content9.clipmarks.com/images/c2b-foot.png" border="0" alt="blog it" width="107" height="17" style="border-width:0px;padding:0px;margin:0px;" /></a></td></tr></table></div></div>

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