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POPSNever lie to your mother DEAR MOTHER, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID" TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID NOT" TAKE THE FRYING PAN BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER. LOVE PETER Several days later, Peter received an email from his mother which read: DEAR SON, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO" SLEEP WITH SIMON, AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU DO NOT" SLEEP WITH SIMON, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF HE WAS SLEEPING IN HIS OWN BED, HE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING PAN BY NOW. LOVE MUM Lesson of the day, NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER
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POPSI used to be I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn't trained. I used to be a road digger, but I got re-trenched. I used to be a sanitation engineer, but the city dumped me. I used to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive. I used to be a shoe salesman, till they gave me the boot. I used to work at Starbucks, but I got tired of the daily grind. I used to be a tailor, but found the work to be just so-so. I used to be a taxi driver, but found I couldn't hack it. I used to be a teacher, but found I didn't have enough class. I used to be a tennis instructor, but it just wasn't my racket. I used to be a train driver but I got sidetracked. I used to be a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn't in it. I used to be a Velcro salesman, but couldn't stick with it. I considered going into the ministry but I didn't have an altar ego. I tried working in a bakery, but was told I wasn't "bread" for it. I thought becoming a candle maker, but I wasn't sure wick end
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POPSThree wishes "Now I want fifty of the most beautiful women imaginable." said the man. There was a puff of smoke and his wish was granted. He was annoyed, however, to see Jones grinning and waving, surrounded by his own harem of 100 women, all twice as attractive. "What is your final wish, Master?" asked the genie". "I want to lose a testicle," said the man.
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POPSIn search of a pretty bride The next day, the Redneck again asked how things went. "Well," the man replied, "she's just a wee bit -- not that you can hardly tell -- cross-eyed." The Redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did. The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect! She's the one I want to marry." The redneck gave his blessing, so the couple was wed immediately. Months later their first baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents. "Well," explained the Redneck, "she was just a wee bit -- not that you could hardly tell -- pregnant when you met her."
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POPSAl Gore: Funny quotes "The White House has now released military documents that they say prove George Bush met his requirements for the National Guard. Big deal, we've got documents that prove Al Gore won the election." --Jay Leno "There was an embarrassing moment in the White House earlier today. They were looking around while searching for George Bush's military records. They actually found some old Al Gore ballots." --David Letterman "In a speech over the weekend, Al Gore brutally attacked President Bush and his policies. You see, if Al Gore really wants President Bush to lose in 2004, instead of attacking Bush, he should endorse him. Look what it did for the Dean campaign." --Jay Leno
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POPSMarketing concepts explained 6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - "That's Customer Feedback" 7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - "That's demand and supply gap" 8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - "That's competition eating into your market share" 9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - "That's restriction for entering new markets"
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POPSFree alarm clock E-ReAlm is an useful application that allows you to create programmed alarms to help you remember all your dates and appointments. This alarms can be set to go off once only, or once a year, a month, a week, a day… at any hour of the day. You can also add a text to the alarm, as well as a sound that will be played when the alarm goes off.The interface was designed to be the most intuitive and simple, as you can get to all options from the main window. The hidden mode and the icon tray menu, allow you to have E-ReAlm opened (so that alarms can go off) while you work with your computer, without having the program’s window in screen.
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POPSFree image editor Photormin is an advanced Multi-Window painting tool for Windows. Drag & Drop Support, Advanced Drawing Tools, Color and Text and Zoom Box, Multi-Button Mouse Controling, Smooth Image Resizing, Crop and Supports Common file formats.
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POPSFree anti-rootkit software Panda AntiRootkit is a free utility that performs in-depth scans of your computer in search for hidden resources, identifying and disinfecting known and unknown rootkits. Unlike other rootkit utilities which merely "reveal" hidden objects, Panda AntiRootkit positively identifies known and unknown rootkits and gives the option of removing them, including their associated registry entries, processes and files. In addition Panda AntiRootkit has an Exhaustive Scan Monitor (requires reboot) capable of monitoring drivers and processes loading at boot time. It's unique technology does this at a lower level than any other AntiRootkit utility, therefore revealing all hiding techniques used by the latest generation rootkits. Panda AntiRootkit discovers hidden files, registry entries, drivers, processes, modules, SDT modifications, EAT hooks, modifications to IDT, non-standard INT2E, non-standard SYSENTER, IRP hooks, and much more.
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POPS12 funny quotes “There are no good roles for Indians in Hollywood, unless you’re shooting at Jack Bauer or looking for White Castle.” - Mark Saldana “What do you think you should do if you’re attacked by a bear? Play dead? No — that’s a lie promoted by the bears.” - Eugene Mirman “Only thing that’s worse than walking in on your parents making love is walking in on your grandparents making love. That’s why I no longer eat raisins.” - Zach Galifianakis “I’m living with a crazy midget. Crazy people talk to themselves, laugh at their own jokes and s--t themselves. That’s my son.” - Jo Koy
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POPSGoogle Analytics on your desktop He who owns a site (or a blog) must have heard of Google Analytics (or more probably is using it to track his site visitors behavior). To view your site stats you have to log into your analytics account. Today I accidentally came across a tool that you can use to access Google Analytics right from your desktop (but, of course, you need an Internet connection to use it).
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POPSSearch like you have never searched before No more wasting time going through pages of search results. Find exactly what you are searching for fast. Power Search Tool enables you to target your searches with a simple click. Generating targeted search results directly from your browser in a matter of seconds!
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POPSLaugh with the baby Have you ever seen a living being as cute as this little guy? Blessed are the parents to whom he was born. Laugh little guy laugh and the world laughs with you (and we clippers too). (I just wish you would join clipmarks soon; I'll your first friend here, little one)
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POPSPranks in the library The other students studying in the library are strange. Not one of them is laughing or taking any sort of interest in the affairs taking place in the middle of the library.
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POPSFunniest laugh ever! Can anyone make you laugh just my laughing himself and doing nothing else whatsoever? No, you say! Well then watch this video. It will make you change your mind. Oh boy! This guy is soooooo funny! I haven't laughed so much in ages.
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