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POPSNever lie to your mother DEAR MOTHER, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID" TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID NOT" TAKE THE FRYING PAN BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER. LOVE PETER Several days later, Peter received an email from his mother which read: DEAR SON, I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO" SLEEP WITH SIMON, AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU DO NOT" SLEEP WITH SIMON, BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF HE WAS SLEEPING IN HIS OWN BED, HE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING PAN BY NOW. LOVE MUM Lesson of the day, NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER
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POPSI used to be I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn't trained. I used to be a road digger, but I got re-trenched. I used to be a sanitation engineer, but the city dumped me. I used to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive. I used to be a shoe salesman, till they gave me the boot. I used to work at Starbucks, but I got tired of the daily grind. I used to be a tailor, but found the work to be just so-so. I used to be a taxi driver, but found I couldn't hack it. I used to be a teacher, but found I didn't have enough class. I used to be a tennis instructor, but it just wasn't my racket. I used to be a train driver but I got sidetracked. I used to be a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn't in it. I used to be a Velcro salesman, but couldn't stick with it. I considered going into the ministry but I didn't have an altar ego. I tried working in a bakery, but was told I wasn't "bread" for it. I thought becoming a candle maker, but I wasn't sure wick end
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POPSThree wishes "Now I want fifty of the most beautiful women imaginable." said the man. There was a puff of smoke and his wish was granted. He was annoyed, however, to see Jones grinning and waving, surrounded by his own harem of 100 women, all twice as attractive. "What is your final wish, Master?" asked the genie". "I want to lose a testicle," said the man.
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