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POPSMerrill Lynch Searching For Hitman I wonder if the conversation in the Merrill Lynch boardroom for the hiring of Blackrock CEO, Laurence Fink, went something like this: Suit 1: We're fucked. Suit 2: No, no, no... we're fucked . Suit 1: You know someone is going to have to take care of O'Neal. Head Suit: Yes, you're right. ( sighs ) Who do we know who can kill people? Suit 1: Google. Head Suit: No, no. Literally kill. With guns. Suit 2: ... Blackrock? Head Suit: Hmm... We could hire them, yes. That would take care of all our problems in accounting. Maybe even some of those sub-prime loan holders. Suit 1: ( points to the side of his head ) Take... care? Head Suit: Someone get me their number. Call Cheney and ask him. Do you think we should offer options in the package? Suit 2: ( looks down at quarterlies ) No. Cash.
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POPSSites moved into a PageRank Goolag? Not that this is the first eerie thing that Google has done with its massive power over information control, but it certainly is attention-grabbing. The pravda from Google is that those who sell paid links mess with their search engine algorithms, therefore you should only participate in the official sanctioned, Googlegrad-approved AdWords program, a convenient and effective way to distribute money from your bank account into the stock value of GOOG , which as we know is good for the whole of the Internet. Google is always looking out for the Internet's best interests. Google is more than just a friend. Google is your mentor. Do not be seduced by the rotten bourgeois ideology of the warmongering capitalist blogger jackal! Google: We Won't Let You Make A Bad Link (TM). See:
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POPSColbert & ComCent: In Like Flynn
I have to give my respects to Comedy Central and the Colbert team for the brilliant strategy they've concocted in the Colbert for President bid. This will provide Colbert and ComCent with lampoonage of the presidential races the likes of which we have never seen in the history of ever. The last two elections were angry farces, this one may shape up to be a more engaging farce with Colbert there to skewer the candidates in a way they can't dodge and the Daily Show eyeballing the whole thing. In a capacity as a show host, you can be snubbed by candidates who don't want to face the heat, but as a candidate they cannot help but face him during debates. I have no doubt that Colbert has no real wish to be president, but rather to force the candidates to deal with his "truthiness" as it were. Meanwhile, ComCent rakes in the ratings, Colbert makes his point and sells his books and we all get a good laugh... something we could use right about now. I hope he makes it past South
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POPSMore Pagan Than Pagan I live next door to a church. Really, I could throw a rock from our balcony and hit the steeple... not that I am suggesting anything. Anyway, the church provides endless hilarity as I drive past it to get to my parking lot, what with its Harvest Festival pumpkins festooning their lawn and large banner advertising the harvest season. I suspect this vaguely pisses off all the pagans, though really they should be used to having their holidays hypocritically pilfered from them ever since Yule went the way of Christmas. I wonder what would happen if I went over there with a magic marker and decorated their pumpkins with pentacles... Well, it seems I'm not the only one to live near enough to a church to notice this happy irony:
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POPSGoogle to make Wifi-enabled mobile voice-over-IP phones? Google is buying up broadcast frequencies, mobile Internet-capable data centers, cell phone tech and pressed the government for rights to provide "Free wifi for everyone". I think they're gearing up to make mobile VOIP phones using wifi technology.
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POPSMedical Companies Give Doctor Kickbacks, Gives US Gov't Theirs... Just keep in mind, dear consuming public, that your health and safety is worth $311 million dollars to the government. In the scheme of things, that's nothing. The doctors got their kickbacks, now the government has their's. No harm, no foul... right? Capitalist healthcare at work!
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POPSOil Industry's terminal illness becomes more apparent... Well, there is only so much oil, and we aren't slowing down are consumption even a little. I'd think that the coughing sputtering deaths of some of the smaller big oil companies is inevitable, being as how they aren't making any more crude. But everyone will panic, of course, and act all surprised in the market. *GASP!* You mean that there ISN'T ENOUGH OIL to support the industry infinitely? SELL! SELL! SELL! Well, go on... go look at your portfolio. I know you want to.
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POPSCorporate Eavesdropping... Here! Now! On Sale! You knew it was coming. Now it's here. You can talk on the phone for free as long as you're willing to let a corporation listen in to your conversations for profit. You don't really need to talk that badly, but I know you will...
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POPSThe Flat-Chested Truth So it seems that with new advances in technology, men have gotten more lazy while women have gotten more stressed. Ah, men...