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POPSSupreme Court Declares First Amendment Unconstitutional Satire writers write fiction and people believe them <br><br> "The amendment has become meaningless", said Chief Justice John Roberts in issuing the majority opinion. "People are practicing religions that call for the slaughter of animals or the practice of Scientology. News reporters are reporting all kinds of things without revealing their sources. Satire writers write fiction and people believe them. Drunken women are dancing naked on counter tops claiming it's 'free speech'. These days when people 'peaceably assemble' you can rest assured there's pot smoking going on. And the legislature is overwhelmed by people trying to redress grievances to the point that they are generally ignored. The amendment no longer retains the meaning or spirit in which is was written by our founding fathers".
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POPSNothing At All Happens To 28 Tibetan Protesters, Their Families Reports of the highest order, released by officials of the highest order, confirmed a number of other events that absolutely did not happen. At 6:42 p.m., two fully manned paramilitary transports failed to arrive at the scene, and, as a result, did not send the already frightened crowd into a mass panic. After not being loaded into the nonexistent vehicles, the protesters were then not driven, deep into the night, to a remote rice field. Once there, the reliable report states that men and women were in no way unloaded from the backs of vehicles, made to strip off their clothes, and forced to kneel down, heaving backs toward the full moon. Nothing then occurred.
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POPSSmoke, Smoke, Smoke That Cigarette...No Wait. Satire...Satire...Satire " finally, all these states and the federal government are raising their taxes to fund children's health programs- they say. this latest .60 cent tax increase is what started me thinking that today, as the new tax goes into effect, was the time to quit, so instead of the sick little kids getting $1.01 a day in taxes from me to fund their health programs, they're losing .41 cents, or $4.10 a week from me, State Farm, wants to up my new rate a few hundred a month because now I'm fifty and a smoker, so I'm dropping them and getting accident insurance instead and in two years when my rates would drop because (if) I've been a non smoker for that long, I'll go with another company with my business. "I'll keep you posted on how this is going, but right now I've gotten myself so upset that if I don't stop bitching I'll need a smoke to calm down.
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POPSAmericans unprepared for doomsday "Even assuming someone eventually developed an above-ground super-house able to withstand the 1,200-degree temperature and massive force of lava and ash rain that would result from a globe-shattering asteroid impact, its occupants would be unprepared for the ensuing radical climate change," Olheiser said. "By the same token, the average household lacks the 1.2 million gallons of heating oil needed to withstand the prolonged sub-zero temperatures of another protracted Ice Age—perhaps the most shocking of the public's many oversights."
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POPSAmericans now fleeing to Mexico Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.
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POPSBush: "Taxpayers Will Happily Agree to Bailout Financial Fat Cats." "America needs my help," Says recently unemployed auto worker Cliff Tonwsend. "So I'm going to dig deep and help her out. It will be a sacrifice for my family and the entire next generation to pay for the excess of the last eight years year, but as an American I am proud to do it. And I know my kids and their kids will be proud to pay as well. The poor and middle class have always supported the rich in this country, so I don't see how this time is any different." The President and The Republican Party should be glad that Americans are greeting the plan with an open mind. The bailout plan is expected to create an additional 2 trillion dollars of debt for future generations to pay off.
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POPSMcCain selects running-mate Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious
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POPSMcCain has Viet Nam Flashback Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.
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POPSMcCain "I promise to invade your vaginas" Convicted rapist, Wesley Fenton, is cheered by McCain's new tougher stand on abortion. Speaking from his high security prison cell Fenton explained that he was shocked and saddened when the child he conceived, while rapping a 12 year old girl, was aborted in 1997. "It was a terrible moment for me." said Fenton ~~~~~~~ Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.
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POPSObama fights back on FOX The Illinois senator then took his seat and began to discuss how he would repair the Alternative Minimum Tax, reform military spending and offer affordable healthcare to the poor and working poor of America I know it's just satire, but FOX really deserves something like this.
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