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POPSThe Joy of Community This is inspired by yesterday's conversation at Amplify. I highly recommend you read at the source.
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POPSAre you too nice to negotiate? In popular fiction, negotiators are often portrayed as hard-as-nails, tough-talking people, in other words, not nice. There is a general perception that niceness does not win at the negotiation table. But is this perception true? Can you be too nice to negotiate?
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POPSOn Nice White Lady Syndrome, bodysnarking, and policing of others' choices Long, click through for the whole thing. More: Part of me aches for the person (woman) who is defensive and angry at my observations. I really do know what it's like to suffer the pain of having my "niceness" bubble popped, especially in an exposed setting. I know what it's like to be called out in public (which the inter-netz obviously is) and while many can shake it off, I have on occasion blanched and felt my heart race at such things. In short, I really do have empathy for how upsetting this sort of thing can feel… An investment in being "nice" is/was a seductive condition. There were so many perks (if I had good "intentions" my actions could not, I repeat not be called into question)… Additional "perks" came in the form of believing I was someone who Meant Well and was Part of the Solution and it was totally other people who were Part of the Problem.
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POPSNo More Mr. Nice Guy Passion can be a scary thing! The good news is that passion is what can drive you when all else is bleak. Passion has the ability to make us want to get out of bed and work late into the evening...
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POPSThree positions you can take in an argument His comments on Obama seem a bit dated, but the message here is still valid. If this essay interests you, I suggest following up with some great books, "The Third Story", "Difficult Conversations" and a pdf you can find on line called "The Seven Challenges".
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