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POPSIreland Introduces 'Ave Maria Law' However, given the positive reception for the Croagh Patrick sentencing it has been proposed that 'scantily clad bitches' (or 'witches' - there was a crackle on the line at this point), are to be burned at the stake in front of the Four Courts in Dublin. Furthermore shop lifters are to be placed in stocks and forced to endure sermons by the Legion of Mary. Pioneer mobs will roam the capital dragging drunkards from pubs and imposing flagellation fines. Catholics across the country have broadly welcomed the proposed establishment of the new parallel court system. Bishops just back from a fact finding mission in Saudi were said to be preparing a voluminous dossier to be submitted to the government. 'Bejaysus dem boys know how to do tings over there', a source told us.